I was raised a Christian, and remain so to this day. Not that it didn’t come with struggles and such, but I have seen and experienced God’s love, mercy, miracles, and the like, and there is absolutely no doubt in my mind about my beliefs. That being said, I am not always the Woman of God that I am called to be. Honestly, I am just starting to be the Woman of God that the Lord has been/is calling me to be. I grew up in a house full of turmoil, as you can read in past entries in this blog. One of the effects of the things going on at home was that I was often the only person who would go to church with my mom. On the way to church my mom would always play gospel/worship music, and being a teenager, I usually complained about it. See, it’s not like that’s all my mom ever listened too, my mom is awesome in a lot of ways, and one of those ways is her extensive taste in music. I was lucky enough that she grew up on and continues to like punk/rock music, so as a teenager I got to play things I liked in the car because she liked them, too. But that’s all I ever wanted to listen to, and always thought that gospel and worship music just wasn’t my thing. I’d tell her “I’ll just worship while I listen to Flyleaf or Underoath, mom. They are christian, after all.” Because I thought that was the only important thing about worship music. That is, until I got into soft folksy type music and loved how much it seemed to calm me down.
I have realized over the past few weeks, that much like you have to choose to be happy in life, you also have to choose to invite Christ into your life every day. I know I’ve heard it a thousand times, but I am young and sometimes foolish and thought that praying and going to church now and then was enough. That was, until I started spending time in the word every day. Because my day goes SO much better when I do. And it’s a choice I have to make every day, just like choosing to worship God. I found over the weekend at Women’s Retreat with my mom’s new church (full of wonderful women of God that I love and am blessed to know) that it is simply of matter of finding worship music that you like. It’s crazy how many options you have. Seriously, go on itunes and look. I have chosen Third Day, because it’s a band that my mom used to listen to a lot and one that I remember really liking (I’ve also seen them live with my aunt and I’ve gotta say they are AWESOME).
God has done some pretty cool things in my life the past few days, and all I had to do was give him some of my time. I am a far way off from being the Woman of God I want to be, but for the first time I am actively working towards that, and I’ve never felt more at peace or happier.