New Horizons

I have always had a hard time living day to day. I am almost always thinking about the future. It got so bad at one point a few years ago that while I was trying to decide if I was going to date my boyfriend, my mom literally had to tell me to stop holding myself back because I was worried about what was going to happen 5 years from now. And thank God she pointed that out, because I’m approaching my 3 year anniversary with the best man I have ever met, all because I stopped for a few minutes to breathe and decided to take a chance on being happy.
I got better at taking things day by day, and grew in maturity and responsibility, as one should at my age. That’s not to say that I don’t have days where stress really gets to me and I’m in a bad mood, but they happen much less frequently than they used to.
That being said, recently plans that my boyfriend and I had been counting on for our future for the last year got a giant wrench thrown in, along with stress and uncertainty at work and problems with friends and worry for family members. And instead of having a full fledged mental breakdown like I would have a few years ago-I turned to God. I read my bible. I made a playlist of my favorite Christian songs to listen to on my way to work in the mornings. I prayed-a lot. I decided to put my trust in God. That if certain plans didn’t pan out the way we wanted, then it’s for the best. That work would be fine (and it is-I just got another second job!). That there is a season for everything. I believe this may be a season for letting go.
Letting go of worry and stress for the future. That doesn’t mean to forsake all planning and saving and working towards the future I want-it means praying that God point me in the direction he wants me (us) to go.
Letting go of things I can’t control-friends, the actions of other people, hours at work. I can’t control those things, so why worry about them?
The playlist I made for my way to work has helped a lot. People are right-start your day with Jesus and your day goes better. I am much more at peace, even when I’m getting up at 5am. One song has really stood out to me-New Horizons by Flyleaf. It starts off like this: “So you’re tired but you’re alive. So open up your eyes, and you can get your sleep when you are dead, kill the clock inside your head. Bring your normalcy to the edge, and watch it drown in new horizons” and it really speaks to me. I feel my life is under going great change at the moment, new horizons are just ahead of me. And instead of being anxious and worrisome because I don’t know what’s going to happen, I am excited and at peace because I know that God has me in His hands and that His plan is perfect and all I have to do is trust Him.

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About PaigeWrites

26, Cat mom, California girl, aspiring Teacher, Wife, Christian.
This entry was posted in Religion and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to New Horizons

  1. cherubim27 says:

    Reblogged this on lampinthedarkness and commented:
    My daughter. I’m so proud of her. Please read and comment if you can.

  2. cherubim27 says:

    Great post girl! You have grown so much, keep pressing in closer to him. Love you.

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