When I was younger, I would frequently get upset with my parents for telling me that what tv shows portrayed about friendship wasn’t real. That the friends you have when you’re young, in high school even, are most likely not going to be the same friends you have as you grow older.
I clung to my best friends and the idea that we would be friends forever even as girls who were once my best friends never saw me again for some reason or another. The younger you are, the more simple the reasons. Someone moves away, you each make friends with different groups of people, you go down different paths, etc. In high school it’s for drama filled reasons, mainly boys. After high school, because everyone goes off to college or stays home. After that though, as we enter our 20’s, it becomes simple and yet complicated at the same time.
No one ever tells you just how much people will come in and out of your life. At this point, I’ve kept like, a single friend from each stage in my life, and the frequency in which they are all actually in my life varies. One friend from when I was little, mostly I just like her posts on Instagram, but it makes me happy to see she’s doing well. From high school, she’s like family and we talk and see each other occasionally and it always feels like we picked up where we left off. From college, we text in between jobs and over a 3 hour time difference and call each other randomly and talk for 2 hours (speaking of, I need to call her back!). I love them all dearly, and I don’t see them nearly as much as I would like too.
Now I have other friends too, and I talk to/see them from time to time and it’s nice. But the older I get, the more I realize and am okay with the fact that the people you are closest with and talk to the most, is your family. I talk to my boyfriend of 3 years, my sister, and my mom more than I talk to anyone else. And I’m very happy about that. They’re the people I love more than anything and my sisters are pretty awesome so I have plenty of fun, interesting conversations with them about social issues, music, tv, books, video games, etc.
That being said, I still have a really hard time accepting the fact that me and someone I care about are growing apart. At this point in my life, it’s because our lives are going in different directions and as much as that’s a completely normal and common reason, it’s still hard. It’s frustrating though, when you try to have a serious conversation with a friend about being scared or stressed out about a serious life issues (illness, bills, work, etc.) and all they wanna talk about, for example, is boys or clothes and even go far as to change the subject when you’re trying to actually confide in them. Even more so frustrating when they come to you for that stuff and you’re supportive but they can’t seem to do the same for you. At this point in my life, I’m not concerned with boys or clothes because I’m in a serious relationship and I work much more than I go out.
Now, there’s nothing wrong with friends being at different points in their lives, it’s just that friends are supposed to be there for each other, and sometimes being at such different points in life can make that hard. It’s sad that we grow apart from people, but I’ve learned that it’s just part of life. It doesn’t mean you stop caring about them, it just means you’ve grown apart, and that’s okay.