You are in charge of your life.

My generation- or at least the people I know that are my age- have the tendency to complain about their lives a lot (especially with the instant access we all have to social media) but do absolutely nothing about it because they think that “one day” a solution will magically fall out of the sky.  Whether or not they put it that way, that’s what they think.  I know I’m definitely guilty of it. With my inclination towards indie music/movies/books about life and how it’s tragically beautiful but still crappy in the end and we just have to deal with it, yeah, I definitely bought into the whole “things suck but it’s not my fault that I’m not going anywhere.”  Not that it wasn’t totally untrue-a lot of my life fell apart out of my control all at once, and it was really hard to cope with. The fact that I’m even a semi-functioning human being still amazes me sometimes when I really stop to dwell on it (which I try not to do too often). 

I spent, jeez, like 2 years blaming my situation in life on life and doing practically nothing about it. “I don’t have this. I don’t have that. I don’t have a way to do that.  Why would anyone want to hire me, I’m useless and I hate people. I don’t want to take the public bus-it’s awful.  It’s not my fault I’m not in school, my financial aid got changed on me! But mooom I have to drive an hour to get there! Oh, It’s not my fault I hang out with emotionally damaging people, I can’t help it..” etc. etc. etc. Seriously. It was bad.  And I’m sure some of it sounds familiar.

The thing is, I always wanted to get out of the funk I knew I was in, and start kicking life’s ass. But I just couldn’t, because no one had ever really taught me that I could.  Sure, my parents and other family members occasionally yelled at me about it, I would see/hear inspirational quotes or speeches from the internet or my friends, I knew there was solutions to my problems.  I just didn’t like them, or they required more work then I was willing to put in at the time.  But one day I decided that I literally just could not take it anymore, and I started actively working towards making a better life for myself.

Things didn’t get better magically, and it’s still in the works, and it’s been a lot of hard-and-often-crappy-work.  But I had to do it, and I had to be the person to realize that I needed to do it.  After that, I had to decide to do everything it took.  I needed a job, so I applied to every single place I could. I studied every day to pass my pharmacy tech certification exam (WHICH I DID!).  I didn’t like the conditions at the first job I got (no breaks, lunches, overtime, or any real instruction) so I went out and got 2 other jobs at the mall while waiting to hear back from pharmacies, because I need to take care of myself and not just wait around for something good to happen to me.

I knew I needed to change the way things were going-so I did.  And you can too, as long as you put in the effort required.

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About PaigeWrites

26, Cat mom, California girl, aspiring Teacher, Wife, Christian.
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