Okay, so I know it’s been a really long time since I’ve posted anything. But I’ve been busy with life lately (I moved, my parents are getting divorced, I got a new job, and now have a social life), and seeing as how my posts were only slightly more popular on here than they were on tumblr, I didn’t really think it’d matter if I was posting or not. But. Here we go!
Since moving in with my boyfriend in kind of a weird situation (I live with him and his grandma, because of a shitty situation involving cars and craigslist) I’ve been thinking a lot about love and what we all think it’s supposed to be like. Movies, music and books have set such high expectations for love involving grand gestures, roses, candle light dinner, etc. But that’s not how I fell in love. I fell in love during tickle fights, and long car rides with deep talks, and movie night make out sessions on my parents couch, and late night text messages and phone calls that had me falling asleep with the hugest smile on my face.
Sounds pretty standard, right? But that’s not all of it.
I fell in love with our differences. Watching football and hockey with him and his family, when I’d only ever gone to school sporting events as an excuse to hang out with friends before. Convincing him to watch deep indie movies about love and life and giggling when he groaned but didn’t argue.
Even further than that, falling in love and then continuing to be in love are different, too. Falling in love is fun and easy when two people care and have their heads on straight, which for the most part, we both do. Being in love is a lot of hard work. Being in love is taking care of each other when one of you has had to much to drink and doesn’t feel good, even though you yourself are tired and want to go to bed. It’s understanding that if one of you is a social butterfly that craves to be around people and the other is quite and likes to keep to herself and just one or two friends, and meeting in the middle. Going out with a whole group of people some nights, and staying in and just being together on others. It’s understanding that you don’t need to go on a date every week or every other week, and that you don’t need a big moment to be romantic. It’s falling asleep slightly upset on different sides of the bed (no matter how hard you try not to go to bed mad) and waking up in the middle of the night realizing that the two of you are cuddled so closely together that it’s obvious that whatever you were upset about has literally no effect on your love for each other. It’s being a good male role model for your younger sisters because they don’t have one, and bandaging his grandma’s broken toe because she can’t do it herself. It’s caring not only about the other person, but the people that are important to them as well. It’s wanting to do all you can to make each other happy, and the understanding that sometimes that takes money that you don’t have and knowing that they would if they could. It’s bringing home a hookah pen or an energy drink they like simply because you know they’ll be happily surprised when you do. It’s sleepily mumbling “I love you too” while half asleep as they’re off to work before you get out of bed. It’s arguing til 1 am when you’ve got work at 7, because you know you’d sleep terrible if you didn’t have the issue resolved. It’s wanting to scream out of frustration but knowing that you love them anyways.
It’s realizing that the big things are the small things, and appreciating every little thing between.