And be okay with it.
When I moved back home from Montana, a lot had changed. Actually, things were the same. Home was the same, my friends were all the same, the drama was the same. But I had changed, a lot. I grew up, I didn’t want to deal with the pointless drama anymore, and I cut a lot of people out of my life. Maybe I just grew into myself, you know, the person I had the potential to be in high school but hadn’t yet gained the backbone for. Either way, that meant that I was alone a large majority of my time, because when you live in a small town and you stop talking to all your friends from high school, you don’t have many options to go with.
I had to learn to be alone. Don’t get me wrong, I had still had some friends, and eventually my boyfriend. But a lot of them live far away from me, and I had to live with text messages and phone calls as my source of contact with the people I cared the most for. So obviously that would be kind of hard to deal with, being on my own all the time in a society that pretty much pitches that the only way to be fulfilled is to have a crap ton of people around you all the time.
But I was determined to find a way around being lonely. Because lonely and alone are two different things, and even though everyone gets lonely from time to time, I wasn’t about to let it define me. So I took up knitting, and joined a pharmacy program, and got a bunch of movies to watch and good books to read. I learned to keep myself busy, be productive, culture myself, and entertain myself. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t nights where I wish I could be out with my best friend having fun or on a date with my boyfriend. But it means that I do not have to constantly be around people to be happy. Maybe that makes me an introvert, I’m not sure. But I do know that it means that I am okay with myself, no matter the circumstances.
I took a situation in my life that could have seriously sucked, and used it to better myself.
And I feel like that’s a big part of growing up.