If there is one thing I’ve learned my entire life, it is to never give up. Never stop trying. Never stop pushing. Never give up. Even when I’ve had every reason to do so, even when there is absolutely nothing more than I want to give up and walk away from everything in life, I’ve persevered and kept pushing myself to go on.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s been really, really hard sometimes. I’ve dealt with and battled some things that only the people who are closest to me know about. The two years after school were especially hard. When I graduated I went the farthest away from home I was comfortable with, and that happened to be Montana. A long way from constant sunny skies, beaches, and everything I was familiar with. I wasn’t ready to go to college when I did. I don’t regret it, because I grew up so much and learned so many things about myself and life and met friends that changed my life. But getting used to life on your own is difficult enough without doing it in a completely different state than where you grew up and where your family is. Add to that a complete crisis of realizing that you really don’t want to do the thing you’ve thought you wanted to do with your life since you were 14 years old and suddenly you’re questioning why you’re even in school to begin with. Then find out that your Grandfather’s cancer has come back and you’re states away, and anyone is bound to crumble under the weight. And I did.
I moved home to be closer to my grandfather, and got precious, priceless time with him in the months before he passed away. But in the mean time, I pretty much did nothing with my life for about 8 months. Decided to give the local community college a try, since I’d taken classes there in high school anyways. Given that it was 45 minutes away (yay for rural communities that have nothing!) and I got into a car wreck that totaled my (grandfathers) car 6 weeks into the semester, and well you can see where that’s going.
After that I worked at my friend’s coffee shop and tried mostly to piece my life back together and figure out just exactly what I was doing, where I was going, and what I wanted to do. Because when you’re in late teens and early twenties, that’s all anyone ever asks you-what you’re currently doing with your life and what you plan on doing with your life in the next few years. Who are you, and where are you going? I was tired of not having any actual answers to give people, and I really wanted to figure it out so I could start my life back up and get on my feet.
Well, my best friend talked me into signing up for a pharmacy tech program, even though math and science were never my strong subjects. I am so very proud to now say that I am almost finished, and I hope that some time in the next 2 months I’ll be working as a Certified Pharmacy Tech and be making enough to save up to move away, and start my life for real this time.
It’s been a long, hard road, one that seemed like it was never going to get any better. But thanks to friends always encouraging me to push forward, I can stand with my head held high and say that I don’t regret anything, and that I got where I am by my own hard work (and lots of prayers).